Monthly Archives: April 2014

Triggers, follies and eggs oh my!

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I had my scan on saturday and at that time I had a 15mm follie and a 12mm follie….both on my left ovary.  Which is good news because my right ovary/fallopian tube is where I had the ectopic.  I am triggering tonight at 9p.m. hopefully the 15mm follie is all good to go and maybe the 12 mm follie caught up!  Who knows…I wont have another scan to tell.  My lining is 9.5 which is nice and fluffy, so hopefully on wednesday the iui goes good and my DH gives a good sample (he has borderline low sperm count).  

I have to give myself 2 triggers due to my weight! That sucks! I called my RE today though to just make sure that she wants me to trigger tonight, and also make sure that 2 shots don’t make me ovulate sooner.  Hopefully we will have the timing right because everything else looks good.  DH and I BD’d on sunday, hopefully that wont affect the count, but we needed to connect like that.  We are going to BD wednesday night after I am done with work with hopes that it will help.  It wont hurt I suppose.

There are so many unknown factors when it comes to all of this.  At least with IVF they make sure you already have embryo’s and all they have to do is implant!  I am not a religous person…I believe in God, but I disagree with using the bible as the word of God, and I’m not really sure about miracles.  I feel like I do not deserve a miracle so it’s wrong for me to ask for God’s help.  I haven’t been able to let go and let God as the saying goes.  Maybe with time.  If anything it can maybe give me peace and accept what is happening rather than try to control all aspects of this Journey.  I was up til 2a.m. perseverating about the iui, and all the what if’s associated with this.  Not going to do me anygood to not get sleep!  Anyway thanks for reading!

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First IUI bring on the excitement!

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So this month is my very first time ever doing an iui.  I am excited but freaked out at the same time.  Which I am sure is normal.  Giving myself a shot is pretty thought unnerving but, I am sure the build up in my head wont even compare to the actual event.  I go on the 12th for an ultrasound to see how my follicles are doing, then somebody will show me how to give myself the shot.  I’m sure that’s when they will tell me the time and date to do it depending on what my follicles look like.  I finally went to a different section of the website Two week wait.  My observation technique is one to be desired 😉 

Now I am with several other ladies that are in the same boat as I am, getting iui’s and know what it feels like to have been through so much of this baby making journey.   I probably bore my friends with my talk of infertility but I don’t care.  I don’t feel like it should be a taboo subject so I am pretty candid about the things I am doing.  One of my coworkers said ‘just rent a hotel room and have a lot of sex!’ If it was that easy we would be thriving with babies!  Anyway any infertile woman/couple knows that’s just what people say.  “It’s god’s will”  “Just relax!” and “why don’t you adopt?” as if that’s the cure all.  

I had a really tough day when my period started for this cycle.  I cried and cried, called my mom and cried some more.  See, I was trying to get ahold of my fertility clinic and the receptionist said that she would have the dr. call me back.  Nobody called me back, so I called back the next day, tuesday this was, same story, dr. would call me back…they claimed to have called me, but my cellphone did not indicate a missed call.  Again the dr. didn’t call me.  I felt like they didn’t care, weren’t taking me seriously and in general a hopeless feeling.  My mom said ‘call them back and give them heck!’  So I did.  They apologized profusely, said their phone system has been a little wacky lately.  I felt a lot better once I talked to them, scheduled my ultrasound and got an answer from the dr. about a couple of things.   

So, I am CD5 and I am on Femara days 3-7(which was covered by insurance!) and then I will have the U/S on the 12th.  I have the Ovidrel ($147 NOT covered by insurance) and then I will have the IUI once they say to come in!  I am worried because I work full time, don’t have any sick time, so I am hoping the iui is not during work hours.  The ultrasound/iui will cost 675 total.  With the ovidrel and femara this cycle cost me 826.  This is all out of pocket and this is the lowest step possible!  Imagine moving up to injectibles with more ultrasounds…not to mention IVF.  Man alive it’s not cheap being infertile.  I have my ‘it’s not fair!’ moments.  Infertility is a disease where the side effect is no children.  It’s not considered important in the medical field to treat because wanting babies is a choice not a medical necessity.  It’s utter crap, but someone who has children just fine might not understand.  

Sure it’s my choice to want children, but I shouldn’t be punished simply because my body wont make them on their own! What makes my plight any different than someone choosing to get eye correction surgery(which can be covered by vision insurance) or gastric bypass for that matter (which in most cases is covered by insurance also).  Aren’t those people CHOOSING to do those things without NEEDING too?  Don’t get me started with the gastric bypass either, I know several people that have had it done and it has changed their life, but it does come down to the choice to have it done.  Anyway enough of my ranting about insurance randomly.  I shall clear my mind and thing of happy thoughts!